December 2010
56 posts
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Through the Lenses: On The New Year.
2011 is a year of promise for most, if not all, of the people I choose to associate myself with in this place. I will be graduating, attending college, associating myself with new people, getting lost, doing my own laundry, discovering things about people I never dreamed I would find or believe. There will be a new Christmas, a new winter break stretching itself lazily, peacefully, across a span...
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Three Words →
Describe me in three words! I miss you guys. <3
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nerd party tonight.
seeing hp7.1 tomorrow with my mom, my friend, and my friend’s mom.
love you. night. ~claire.
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Teeth and Blood.
Okay, so today, I had to work from 8-12 at Staples: Demon Land. It wasn’t too bad because it was so early and not a lot of people came in the store.
Then I came home and went to the dentist. Mind you, I loathe the dentist. It’s not because I’m scared (I ain’t afraid uh no ghost!), I just think someone’s hands being in my mouth and wiggling and pocking and scraping...
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absolutely [not].
people always tell me i’d be pretty if i smiled more often.
give me something to smile about, then.
i don’t want to be the nine days poster child for a crappy late nineties single.
this is not the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world; she’s just trying to find something new to smile about and tell you.
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you, me, and we.
i had a thought. i was gonna put it here. but the look in your eyes made me forget it, dear.
you are indirect pronouns. you are preposterously scared. if only we had the reversal and someone had actually cared.
we’re dancing around the question. we’re screaming out one thought. i think i am a paradox because i wish we hadn’t fought.
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Charlotte Corday.
I am Charlotte Corday, and I will kill you in your bathtub, but not because you scream too loudly and cry for blood; au contraire, your silence is your scream and your tears are as shwasted as your mind, and your efforts are meager and not at all heartfelt.
I am Charlotte Corday with a kitchen knife, though I will pretend it is a dagger when I come to your house and lie to your face and tell...
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shorts.
i. drinking water cannot flush out the fat or those feelings you’re finding are impossible to describe.
ii. imprints of teenage feet should never become embedded within a scale.
that’s why I don’t remove my socks.
iii. self-esteem doesn’t come bottled in aerosol cans or piled atop expensive clothes, but it doesn’t come in jeans that don’t fit or not eating...
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Finished off the night with Elmer Gantry on Channel 13. Night guys<3
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Wish List.
Sweater dresses, calenders, and explosive shades of eye liner can help her become the person she longs so desperately to be, but they cannot conceal the inevitable ugliness of everything she hates and suppresses; even zippers refuse to bottle up what is pulsing at escape.
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Do Not Be Afraid.
I think you are afraid of me, lover. I wonder…. because I am confident and young and intelligent, or you are incapable of seeing that because I am not the size of a ruler, but just as immobile.
Please put your faith in me, beloved. I twist words like you twist wrists; I will guide you along a path you can walk with the right pair of Adidas and a few less Coors, and both of us will change,...
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Walk Out.
Walking out on everything I once held dear to me in this little town is what they will hate me for when I leave for something new, and breathe something fresh that is significantly absent in this place.
I will crawl under my covers as I am engulfed in flames with the flaming David Sedaris and dream of a place where intelligence abounds and no one will judge me for reinventing myself and looking...
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I Love Christmas.
I really do. For the same reason I love magicians: the magic, of course. The buzzing feeling in the air and the newness of presents that have yet to be opened. I love giving presents to people and seeing that they love them. I don’t ever expect presents back, but sometimes I get them, and then I love them, too. Everyone is happy except for the people who refuse to be. And it’s only...
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Christmas.
People die this time of year, despite the spreading of good cheer. I’d hang around to check on you as you down beer after beer and forget who is who, armed with fake excuses about how I’m just waiting for someone to finish; I must, or I might never know if you got home okay. No signs will tell me to know you’ll live to see another day if I am not there by your side as you spill...
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Writers Should Not Bleed.
When did writing become bloody, and smoked with execution as such? True, Macbeth never cared for the written word, but V certainly did. Glow, lover; do not bleed into cups or links, onto swords or even life breath. Glow with the intention of building something new from everything you glimmer on, and trust that others will piece their words in such a way as well.
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shorts: for him. i.
i. you are not a rose or a pogonia; you are a rosepogonia: exotic, and stunningly so.
ii. my father told me not to walk in the garage without shoes on, but I did just to tell you I was cold and hear you say “if I was there we could be warm.”
iii. i love you as you fall. ‘tis the season, after all.
iv. coffee, crosswords, and your middle double letters transform sunday...
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You are an S, or maybe less.
If we were to sit so still in a small room, the silence would be suffocating me, squeezing my senses and slowly spinning out to make life awkward like this out of place line.
Rather than the smooth, soft silences we had, when line breaks were even and the proper words were all in place. Never would I have had to use such syllables in succinct succession to suffice as our relationship before,...
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Haven't Spoken in Years.
The kind of sister that never speaks her feelings aloud and refuses to apologize, you cannot swallow or even choke down your pride for the good of the order and the family, and Christmas is around the corner.
Countlessly, I have begged forgiveness for actions that are stamped with your name; struggling to keep this whateverit’scalled afloat when you can’t even look me in the eyes.
...
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Falling Short.
tonight, I am every cliché you ever used on all those girls you slept with.
I am the stars not as deep as her eyes and I am the moonbeams glittering but not as brightly as her. I am the songs you promise to write night and day, even when the moonbeams fade and stars can’t be seen from afar, anyway.
I am not good enough: too short, too fat… too brave because I have something I want...
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Something to Think About.
I’m doing that thing on Google Chrome where the number of times you open a tab helps donate water, planted trees, books, vaccinations, and a bunch of other stuff to needy people. It’s so easy, and I find myself opening extra tabs just to get my number up higher. This goes on for 4 days, so if you have Chrome check this out. (or even if you don’t and are motivated to install based...
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Arrogance over Ambition.
For a while, I thought I wanted to go into politics and become a lawyer. Then I grew up a little bit and realized that I was too honest. Then I grew up some more and decided that everyone else just wasn’t honest enough. So now I think once I’m done teaching I might like to go into law or something. But I’m bringing this up because in school recently we have been trying...
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I know I’m a real person but I feel like a faker, so it’s hard for me to believe it.
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Singing and Smoking.
Rather than experience everything and risk what I have gained since life has passed and moved and shaken, I want to question everything.
I value my voice too much, as small and insignificant as it may be at the young lamb stage of seventeen, to destroy it with cigarettes and cassettes of things I never meant to say to you aloud.
And yes, I’ve been told many times that young poets and...
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Through the Lenses: On Going to College.
It’s been so long since I’ve felt like someone has really and truly wanted me, enough to pay me just to have me in their presence and love me and want me to succeed in every which way.
I’ve missed it. I love it. I’m moving towards it. I’m changing.
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SUP, COLLEGE?
Got into the University of Scranton!!!!
SOMEONE WANTS MEEEEE!
And they gave me the Dean’s Scholarship!!!
<333 Where you at, future?!
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shorts: to the pirates.
i. you and me? we’re fucking screwed but I don’t care because we’re screwed together, tied tight down to the plank because we refused to walk it.
ii. I am a lady pirate and you are a poor dock man who is in way over his head and no, that wasn’t a water joke.
iii. get out while you can. life boats to the left.
iv. you just want my booty.
v. I don’t know where this...
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shorts: for her. vi.
i. when I said I was done with this for the night, I had no idea you would talk to me and make everything spin around upside down again.
ii. if I could, I would bring you the world. if you asked me, I would try. But since all you want is a bowl of soup and to feel better, then I will get in my car and speed down 46 at your call.
iii. what would a christmas with you be like? we could sit under...
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Trimming the Tree
with the family tonight means that I will not be lurking on the dash tonight. If you are so moved, leave me something in the ask.
Fun Fact: My family uses blue Christmas tree lights instead of the traditional white or wannabe-original multicolored. And we all have our specific ornaments that only we can put on the tree.
Have a great night, guys! <3
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obvious difference.
you can tell the natives from the tourists just like you can tell the pessimists from the optimists: one group is always looking up, saying, “isn’t that beautiful?! no, wait, look at that one!” while the other is disgruntled and stuck behind this preposterous show of love for life and just trying to muddle through and get to work.
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This is a recording of my Italian audition song...
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Idle Chatter on a Serious Matter.
When I said you were a jerk, I was only kidding. I never expected you to say, “All guys are jerks,” and I never expected to hear myself say, “I know. I know they are.”
Maybe it’s your ADD, or my desire to maintain the illusion that I’m the smartest girl you know.
Either way, I didn’t mean any of it. I just like to hear you talking to me.
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shorts: for her. v.
i. you are lovely every time of year. winter, spring, summer fall; when I’m with you, I love them all.
ii. haven’t the faintest idea where your family might be from. el dorado, where everything is glittering and priceless, perhaps? atlantis, where the people are mysterious and smooth? could be. avalon, where king arthur sees beautiful and talented folk each day? or are you...
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Couplets to Power.
Robespierre, though you were crazy, you still tend to make my mind a bit hazy.
Napoleon, I don’t care how short you are: If we were a couple, you and I would go far.
Iron Man, I’ve heard your heart is made of steel, but we could soften it together and help you to heal.
Jay Gatsby, you crazy, rich son-of-a-bitch: with dedication like yours, I’d never need to switch.
David...
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moving picture show.
despite my armory of ways to keep you blocked out of my life, I’ve always left the iron door open just a crack.
on days when I’m feeling nostalgic and doubting my decision long ago to let you go, I slip through that crack in the door frame and flick through the pictures of you and I, and I ponder how I can see you changing.
it’s visible even in your face: your once-fervent...
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Like this page if you support ALL kinds of people. →
This is my cousin Molly. She loves the Lions, Tigers, Lansing Michigan Lugnuts, and the Pistons. She runs every single day and loves it.
Molly also has special needs. She has trouble brushing her hair, she gets upset easily, and she always orders whatever someone else gets when we go out.
In about a year’s time, Molly will be representing the United States in the Special Olympics...
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An [Future] English Teacher's Insult.
Nice passive voice. It really helps highlight your passive-aggressive nature and the symbolism behind it all is, well, almost dramatically ironic, since I, the undersigning audience, crushed under the weight of your juvenile lead pencil, already knew far in advance, yet again, that you would walk yourself right into a trap from which you cannot escape. See what I did there? Another piece of...
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Ignore Me.
I realize it’s going to take a lot to see through and past the things we’ve achieved together; after all, the kind of person I have helped you to be and vice versa is what I still am now but things have changed, like how this line length is all cramped together like people waiting in line for tickets to Harry Potter without pre-ordering instead of the smarties who get them early. That...
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shorts: for s.
i. never does your face glow as well as when we speak.
ii. intelligence is not a gift; it is culture and you are a stolen painting in the Luvre.
iii. the way we are cannot be well explained by this dying BIC pen, yet I must try; for if I do not my insides will deny me the peace for which I long.
iv. somehow you have harnessed that peace in green watches and dirty shoes.
v. we’d be a...
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“I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time.”
– The Longest Time, Billy Joel.
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The Body Electric: to you, whoever you are →
wakingmoments:
I’m on my way, not just to you but also to the person I want to be. I promise you when I do make it to you I will be a better braver boy than I am now. I keep calling myself a boy but I can’t help it. Sometimes in the face of these tall buildings and tall expectations I can’t help but feel like…
Rarely do I reblog but really? With this one? Had to be done.
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Cheers!
You’re so swelled within yourself, bragging bawdily that you predicted the preprepared dramatic irony laid before you. Congrats, good sir! Waiter, a glass! We have a genius in our class!
There are other things I could put within this poem, but I feel as though my tiny fists colliding with you might mean more. Waiter, step back! The man’s no more! This girl has knocked him on the...
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shorts to no one.
i. if you’re thinking about me all the time why don’t you show it for once?
ii. ignorant. lying. obtuse. vapid. exasperating. yes-man. overwhelming. underhand.
iii. bet you were too stupid to even get what I did there.
iv. do not put your faith in me. I will leave you and I will lie when I promise my return.
v. why couldn’t you send me to boarding school? this bitch loves...
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First Tumblr Said "Be Back Shortly" and I Clicked...
But in any case, facing a dilemma.
I need to pick a song from a musical to sing for my audition.
It can’t be from Wicked, Phantom of the Opera ( =[ Cindy), or Les Mis.
It should probably be cheery.
Thoughts?
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Agh.
Thank God.
Missed you guys. <3
I wanted to have something cool to tell you guys but…. I got nothin.
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superhero.
you are pushing your glasses up and trying to explain your obscure beliefs to anyone who will listen, even if those anyones are people you don’t care for; you phrase your paragraphs of paraphrasing in desperate, free-verse poems, hoping someone important will stumble across them and decide that you are worth their time. you’re too young to mean so much, but you won’t acknowledge...
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Through the Lenses: On Surreal Feelings.
this is my last christmas as a high school student.
this time next year, my family will have already gone out to chop down our tree and I will come home having missed the ritual of it all.